An update from “Andy” – who admittedly suffers a far more minor trouble than the persecution that too many face in trying to faithfully practice their religion. I’ll be thinking of the folks in China this week, and of the sick and wounded soldiers who are missing out on the ministry of Catholic and Jewish chaplains because of one man’s judgment and hate. (He clearly missed the “open hearts, open minds” class back in Methodist seminary!)
Okay…so my rant, Part II:
True to my promise, I called the city police today. The officer was very nice, but didn’t think it was a matter for them to handle. (I like our city police in general and he reinforced that stance.) He referred me to code enforcement. Code enforcement told me that they don’t consider a newspaper litter. That’s just because it’s not in THEIR yard.
Mr. Friendly Police Officer suggested I call the “head honcho over at that paper.” Since he was the most helpful person I dealt with today, I took his advice. I called the publisher and (glory of glories) his secretary actually let me talk to him, so that was surprising. He assured me it would stop. If it does, that will REALLY be surprising.
Next stop, city hall. If the codes people don’t think it’s litter to get the equivalent of junk mail dropped in my yard, maybe they should. Next week, we write our council.
Keep the faith.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Our Friends the Chinese
Report: China Detains 4 Priests
The Associated PressSunday, July 29, 2007; 12:58 AM
BEIJING -- Four priests from China's underground Roman Catholic church were detained by police, a U.S.-based monitoring group said Sunday.
Three priests were detained Tuesday in the northern region of Inner Mongolia after fleeing their hometown to avoid arrest for refusing to join the state-sanctioned church, the Cardinal Kung Foundation announced. It said the fourth priest was detained in early July in the northern province of Hebei following a motorcycle accident. It gave no details of what charges the priests might face.
China's Catholics are permitted to worship only in churches run by a government-monitored group with no ties to the Vatican. But millions who remain loyal to the pope worship in secret "house churches."
The priests detained in Inner Mongolia's Xilin Gol League region were identified as Liang Aijun, 35, Wang Zhong, 41, and Gao Jinbao, 34. All were from Hebei, according to the Kung Foundation, which is headquartered in Stamford, Conn.
Officers who answered the phone at police headquarters in the cities of Xilinhot and Erlianhot in Xilin Gol said they had no information on the cases. They all refused to give their names.
The fourth priest was Cui Tai, 50, of Hebei's Zhuolu county, the group said.
The Kung Foundation says five bishops and 15 priests or lay people from the underground Catholic church are in jail, while others are under house arrest or police surveillance.
"We urge the Chinese government to take steps immediately to stop all persecution throughout China and release all Roman Catholic bishops and clergy together with those faithful of other faith from prisons," the group's president, Joseph Kung, said in the statement.
The group is named for the late Cardinal Ignatius Kung Pinmei of Shanghai, who spent 30 years in Chinese prisons and died in the United States in 2000 at age 98.
The Associated PressSunday, July 29, 2007; 12:58 AM
BEIJING -- Four priests from China's underground Roman Catholic church were detained by police, a U.S.-based monitoring group said Sunday.
Three priests were detained Tuesday in the northern region of Inner Mongolia after fleeing their hometown to avoid arrest for refusing to join the state-sanctioned church, the Cardinal Kung Foundation announced. It said the fourth priest was detained in early July in the northern province of Hebei following a motorcycle accident. It gave no details of what charges the priests might face.
China's Catholics are permitted to worship only in churches run by a government-monitored group with no ties to the Vatican. But millions who remain loyal to the pope worship in secret "house churches."
The priests detained in Inner Mongolia's Xilin Gol League region were identified as Liang Aijun, 35, Wang Zhong, 41, and Gao Jinbao, 34. All were from Hebei, according to the Kung Foundation, which is headquartered in Stamford, Conn.
Officers who answered the phone at police headquarters in the cities of Xilinhot and Erlianhot in Xilin Gol said they had no information on the cases. They all refused to give their names.
The fourth priest was Cui Tai, 50, of Hebei's Zhuolu county, the group said.
The Kung Foundation says five bishops and 15 priests or lay people from the underground Catholic church are in jail, while others are under house arrest or police surveillance.
"We urge the Chinese government to take steps immediately to stop all persecution throughout China and release all Roman Catholic bishops and clergy together with those faithful of other faith from prisons," the group's president, Joseph Kung, said in the statement.
The group is named for the late Cardinal Ignatius Kung Pinmei of Shanghai, who spent 30 years in Chinese prisons and died in the United States in 2000 at age 98.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Guest Mull: Call Me Andy
Hawkeyegirl welcomes Mullings and Observations on a Semi-Normal Life's first Guest Mull. Our favorite lefty, The Faithful One Who Leans to the Left, shares a rant on her nemesis, The Washington Examiner. Take it away, Lefty!
In the 1998 movie “Funny Farm” the lead character Andy, played by Chevy Chase, became increasingly distracted – some might say obsessed – with getting his “maniacal” mailman to stop at his house. His efforts became increasingly more desperate and bizarre, until the comedy of it started to make me uncomfortable. Well, that was before the Washington Examiner entered my life.
Hi. You might as well call me Andy.
When my then fiancé and I bought our house we thought the previous owner forgot to cancel their paper subscription. No biggie, we thought, they’ll stop coming when the bills stop getting paid. Silly us; the paper is FREE.
So, I asked a neighbor how to stop the daily delivery of a paper I don’t subscribe to and I don’t want. His response, verbatim: “Good luck.”
And so began my odyssey.
It took me a while to get around to that first call to circulation, but I did call in the spring. The flowers and grass were coming in and the ugly, unwanted paper really stood out each morning. A cheerful and helpful customer service rep answered the phone and told me the delivery would stop within the next five days. Naïve and optimistic, I’ve always been dreamy this way – ask Hawkeyegirl, I’m the hopeful “Lefty” of which she often speaks. (Hawkeyegirl editorial comment: Those wacky lefties. They need pessimistic and realistic friends like Hawkeyegirl to make it in this world!)
Alas, a week later, I was still getting the paper. ("Curse words!" as my friend would say.)
So I called back. This time a nice lady stayed on the phone with me and walked me through the process. She said the delivery person made a mistake. She made a note in the computer and the paper, miraculously, stopped for almost two months. And then, one hot summer morning, it was back. Coiled in its plastic wrapper at the end of the drive, the dreaded Washington Examiner waited for its daily toss in the recycle bin with taunting air. I was almost afraid to pick it up.
I called again. More direct this time. “What do I have to do to get you to stop littering my yard with that thing?” The apologies were profuse…and empty. Like the paper boy in “Better Off Dead” the paper still stalks me with dogged determination.
Yesterday, in a fit of frustration, I started looking for alternative outlets to release my frustrations upon. I googled “Stop Examiner Delivery” and found – with little surprise and dwindling hope of a solution – that I am not alone. The Baltimore Sun and City Paper have a series of articles on frustrated consumers desperate to stop delivery of this menace. (The Balt Sun page is down, but it is referenced in these links.)
http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=12692
http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=12887
http://penpressclub.org/2006/11/court-to-rule-on-examiner-distribution#links
Here’s the deal. The examiner delivers free to “affluent” neighborhoods (although that must be loosely defined given that I’m receiving it!) and then reports circulation numbers to its advertisers that include these free deliveries. The advertisers, one must assume, think they have one heck of a deal, with circulation so high in these desirable neighborhoods. In return, the Examiner pays a bunch of folks to deliver the paper every morning – since every house in the stated areas are unofficially subscribers, and none have actually asked for the paper, there is absolutely no incentive for the driver to check the opt outs as he goes. Just drive and toss – he’ll get paid no matter what.
So who wins? The advertiser certainly doesn’t. Check my neighborhood on trash day and you’ll see the bins full of unwrapped Examiners – many waiting to add to the trash heaps of local landfills. I mean really, who’s going to open, layout and bind for recycling a paper they didn’t even ask to receive?!
The consumer doesn’t. They have litter in their yards five days a week and no recourse to stop the onslaught.
The environment doesn’t. (Hey, I acknowledged being a lefty.) These people are killing trees and littering my yard with them. It makes me sad. (Hawkeyegirl editorial comment: I'm not a lefty and I recycle. It's the right thing to do.)
That leaves the Examiner and its drivers. Yeah, I guess they win. But I am trying to stop that – starting right now.
I have written a letter to the advertising department, VP of circulation and editor. I gave notice that, starting Monday, I’m contacting all their advertisers to complain and urge them to disassociate with this disreputable business practice. I plan to alert my homeowners association and see if we can start some sort of petition to boycott the advertisers. I wrote to stopexaminer@yahoo.com and asked for advice on my campaign. I tried to find Joel Levin to see if his restraining order gambit worked. (I can’t find him, if any of our lawyers friends know how to track him down, let Hawkeyegirl know.) I sent letters to two different web sites that are covering the Examiner and their delivery issues, hoping a kindred spirit will know of some tricks to help me.
And if I get a paper on Tuesday, I’m also calling the city police and reporting them for littering. Hey, it might not work. But then again, I’m desperate.
Call me Andy.
In the 1998 movie “Funny Farm” the lead character Andy, played by Chevy Chase, became increasingly distracted – some might say obsessed – with getting his “maniacal” mailman to stop at his house. His efforts became increasingly more desperate and bizarre, until the comedy of it started to make me uncomfortable. Well, that was before the Washington Examiner entered my life.
Hi. You might as well call me Andy.
When my then fiancé and I bought our house we thought the previous owner forgot to cancel their paper subscription. No biggie, we thought, they’ll stop coming when the bills stop getting paid. Silly us; the paper is FREE.
So, I asked a neighbor how to stop the daily delivery of a paper I don’t subscribe to and I don’t want. His response, verbatim: “Good luck.”
And so began my odyssey.
It took me a while to get around to that first call to circulation, but I did call in the spring. The flowers and grass were coming in and the ugly, unwanted paper really stood out each morning. A cheerful and helpful customer service rep answered the phone and told me the delivery would stop within the next five days. Naïve and optimistic, I’ve always been dreamy this way – ask Hawkeyegirl, I’m the hopeful “Lefty” of which she often speaks. (Hawkeyegirl editorial comment: Those wacky lefties. They need pessimistic and realistic friends like Hawkeyegirl to make it in this world!)
Alas, a week later, I was still getting the paper. ("Curse words!" as my friend would say.)
So I called back. This time a nice lady stayed on the phone with me and walked me through the process. She said the delivery person made a mistake. She made a note in the computer and the paper, miraculously, stopped for almost two months. And then, one hot summer morning, it was back. Coiled in its plastic wrapper at the end of the drive, the dreaded Washington Examiner waited for its daily toss in the recycle bin with taunting air. I was almost afraid to pick it up.
I called again. More direct this time. “What do I have to do to get you to stop littering my yard with that thing?” The apologies were profuse…and empty. Like the paper boy in “Better Off Dead” the paper still stalks me with dogged determination.
Yesterday, in a fit of frustration, I started looking for alternative outlets to release my frustrations upon. I googled “Stop Examiner Delivery” and found – with little surprise and dwindling hope of a solution – that I am not alone. The Baltimore Sun and City Paper have a series of articles on frustrated consumers desperate to stop delivery of this menace. (The Balt Sun page is down, but it is referenced in these links.)
http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=12692
http://www.citypaper.com/news/story.asp?id=12887
http://penpressclub.org/2006/11/court-to-rule-on-examiner-distribution#links
Here’s the deal. The examiner delivers free to “affluent” neighborhoods (although that must be loosely defined given that I’m receiving it!) and then reports circulation numbers to its advertisers that include these free deliveries. The advertisers, one must assume, think they have one heck of a deal, with circulation so high in these desirable neighborhoods. In return, the Examiner pays a bunch of folks to deliver the paper every morning – since every house in the stated areas are unofficially subscribers, and none have actually asked for the paper, there is absolutely no incentive for the driver to check the opt outs as he goes. Just drive and toss – he’ll get paid no matter what.
So who wins? The advertiser certainly doesn’t. Check my neighborhood on trash day and you’ll see the bins full of unwrapped Examiners – many waiting to add to the trash heaps of local landfills. I mean really, who’s going to open, layout and bind for recycling a paper they didn’t even ask to receive?!
The consumer doesn’t. They have litter in their yards five days a week and no recourse to stop the onslaught.
The environment doesn’t. (Hey, I acknowledged being a lefty.) These people are killing trees and littering my yard with them. It makes me sad. (Hawkeyegirl editorial comment: I'm not a lefty and I recycle. It's the right thing to do.)
That leaves the Examiner and its drivers. Yeah, I guess they win. But I am trying to stop that – starting right now.
I have written a letter to the advertising department, VP of circulation and editor. I gave notice that, starting Monday, I’m contacting all their advertisers to complain and urge them to disassociate with this disreputable business practice. I plan to alert my homeowners association and see if we can start some sort of petition to boycott the advertisers. I wrote to stopexaminer@yahoo.com and asked for advice on my campaign. I tried to find Joel Levin to see if his restraining order gambit worked. (I can’t find him, if any of our lawyers friends know how to track him down, let Hawkeyegirl know.) I sent letters to two different web sites that are covering the Examiner and their delivery issues, hoping a kindred spirit will know of some tricks to help me.
And if I get a paper on Tuesday, I’m also calling the city police and reporting them for littering. Hey, it might not work. But then again, I’m desperate.
Call me Andy.
Friday, July 27, 2007
It Happens More Often Than You Think
Congressmen Seek Chaplain Probe
By Jacqueline L. Salmon
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, July 27, 2007; 11:02 AM
A bipartisan group of House members is trying to force Health and Human Services Secretary Mike Leavitt to order an inspector general's investigation into allegations of religious bias and mismanagement at the spiritual ministry department in the nation's largest clinical research hospital.
The spiritual ministry office, whose chaplains tend to the spiritual needs of thousands of patients at the National Institutes of Health's clinical center in Bethesda, has been the target of complaints by current and former chaplains about religious intolerance and poor leadership.
Two chaplains filed complaints with the Equal Opportunity Commission, and a third is suing HHS, all alleging that NIH officials retaliated against them when they spoke up, inventing reasons to terminate them.
This month, HHS brought in outside experts to conduct a review of the department. But, in a letter this month to Leavitt, 14 House members rejected that probe as inadequate, saying that they had not received assurances from NIH that it would look into the conduct of the former head of the spiritual ministry department, the Rev. O. Ray Fitzgerald.
Fitzgerald was demoted in April after the EEOC ordered the hospital to reinstate the Rev. Henry Heffernan, a Catholic chaplain who had been fired after accusing Fitzgerald of anti-Catholic bias. The EEOC ruled that Heffernan was the target of "discriminatory and retaliatory animus."
Rabbi Reeve Brenner, a chaplain who was fired after supporting Heffernan in his case against NIH, recently settled his complaint with the EEOC. Brenner declined to reveal the terms, but in a statement yesterday, HHS said that the case has been settled "to the mutual benefit of the parties" and that Brenner is no longer employed at NIH.
A third chaplain, Greek Orthodox lay minister Edar Rogler, has filed suit in U.S. District Court in Maryland, alleging that she was also ousted after testifying to the EEOC that Fitzgerald made anti-Catholic comments to her and referred to Brenner by an anti-Semitic slur.
Rep. Steven R. Rothman (D-N.J.), who serves on the House Appropriations Committee, has inserted language into the Department of Labor-HHS appropriations bill, which was approved last week by the full House, authorizing an investigation of the department by the inspector general.
"I have no confidence in their internal review," Rothman said this week. "It is just outrageous that the NIH could be tolerant of this kind of bigotry in its own ranks and in its own building."
In its statement, HHS defended its investigation, saying that a working group of the NIH Advisory Board for Clinical Research conducted a detailed and independent review of the spiritual ministry department, including its management and oversight. The group's draft report is due in September, the statement said.
But a particular focus of House members' ire is Fitzgerald, a Methodist minister who remains on the staff of the chaplain's department. Fitzgerald did not return calls for comment.
"While Rev. Fitzgerald has been replaced as Director of the Spiritual Ministry Department, we were distressed to learn that he is still employed by NIH as a chaplain," said the letter to Leavitt, dated July 9. It was signed by Rothman and, among others, Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.), Rep. Tom Lantos (D-Calif.) and Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.). "We do not believe that the NIH management has acted sufficiently to remedy this serious matter," the letter said.
Rothman also questioned why Fitzgerald had a prominent role at an NIH ceremony last week honoring U.S. Public Health Service employees. Fitzgerald gave the invocation and the benediction, according to the program and NIH employees who were present.
"It is outrageous, and, to me, it indicates to me a monumental lack of judgment on the part of the people at the NIH . . . and a slap in the face to Congress," Rothman said.
By Jacqueline L. Salmon
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, July 27, 2007; 11:02 AM
A bipartisan group of House members is trying to force Health and Human Services Secretary Mike Leavitt to order an inspector general's investigation into allegations of religious bias and mismanagement at the spiritual ministry department in the nation's largest clinical research hospital.
The spiritual ministry office, whose chaplains tend to the spiritual needs of thousands of patients at the National Institutes of Health's clinical center in Bethesda, has been the target of complaints by current and former chaplains about religious intolerance and poor leadership.
Two chaplains filed complaints with the Equal Opportunity Commission, and a third is suing HHS, all alleging that NIH officials retaliated against them when they spoke up, inventing reasons to terminate them.
This month, HHS brought in outside experts to conduct a review of the department. But, in a letter this month to Leavitt, 14 House members rejected that probe as inadequate, saying that they had not received assurances from NIH that it would look into the conduct of the former head of the spiritual ministry department, the Rev. O. Ray Fitzgerald.
Fitzgerald was demoted in April after the EEOC ordered the hospital to reinstate the Rev. Henry Heffernan, a Catholic chaplain who had been fired after accusing Fitzgerald of anti-Catholic bias. The EEOC ruled that Heffernan was the target of "discriminatory and retaliatory animus."
Rabbi Reeve Brenner, a chaplain who was fired after supporting Heffernan in his case against NIH, recently settled his complaint with the EEOC. Brenner declined to reveal the terms, but in a statement yesterday, HHS said that the case has been settled "to the mutual benefit of the parties" and that Brenner is no longer employed at NIH.
A third chaplain, Greek Orthodox lay minister Edar Rogler, has filed suit in U.S. District Court in Maryland, alleging that she was also ousted after testifying to the EEOC that Fitzgerald made anti-Catholic comments to her and referred to Brenner by an anti-Semitic slur.
Rep. Steven R. Rothman (D-N.J.), who serves on the House Appropriations Committee, has inserted language into the Department of Labor-HHS appropriations bill, which was approved last week by the full House, authorizing an investigation of the department by the inspector general.
"I have no confidence in their internal review," Rothman said this week. "It is just outrageous that the NIH could be tolerant of this kind of bigotry in its own ranks and in its own building."
In its statement, HHS defended its investigation, saying that a working group of the NIH Advisory Board for Clinical Research conducted a detailed and independent review of the spiritual ministry department, including its management and oversight. The group's draft report is due in September, the statement said.
But a particular focus of House members' ire is Fitzgerald, a Methodist minister who remains on the staff of the chaplain's department. Fitzgerald did not return calls for comment.
"While Rev. Fitzgerald has been replaced as Director of the Spiritual Ministry Department, we were distressed to learn that he is still employed by NIH as a chaplain," said the letter to Leavitt, dated July 9. It was signed by Rothman and, among others, Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.), Rep. Tom Lantos (D-Calif.) and Chris Van Hollen (D-Md.). "We do not believe that the NIH management has acted sufficiently to remedy this serious matter," the letter said.
Rothman also questioned why Fitzgerald had a prominent role at an NIH ceremony last week honoring U.S. Public Health Service employees. Fitzgerald gave the invocation and the benediction, according to the program and NIH employees who were present.
"It is outrageous, and, to me, it indicates to me a monumental lack of judgment on the part of the people at the NIH . . . and a slap in the face to Congress," Rothman said.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Pearl Harbor
The Battleship MissouriPearl Harbor
July 7, 2007
July 7, 2007
Flag Over the Arizona MemorialJuly 7, 2007
I thought I'd share a few more pictures from Hawaii. Visiting Pearl Harbor was one of the highlights of the trip. I think I'll use the list technique again to share my observations:1. Two quarts of oil leak from the USS Arizona per day. Sixty six years after it sank into the harbor, it forms a small, filmy rainbow of colors on the surface of the water. Some environmentalists say it should be cleaned up and the nearly 500,000 gallons of oil remaining below removed. But veterans sharply disagree, saying the oil is like a living reminder of the souls forever entombed in the ship; it's their tears floating to the surface. I'm not going to argue with them.
2. By far Japanese tourists made up the largest group of visitors. It's a very interesting experience to watch our Japanese friends tour the museum, listen to the audio tour narrated by World War II veteran (and Oscar winning actor - those were the days! Actors serving their country!) Ernest Borgnine, view the 25 minute historical film visitors see before boarding the boat out to the memorial, and respectfully tread the hallowed space above the USS Arizona.
3. My friend Ashley is married to an Air Force officer, so we had access to all the military bases on Oahu. As we drove through the restricted areas of Pearl Harbor, I noted two ships docked in the harbor. One was a Japanese ship with a giant rising sun flag flying high. Having just left the memorial, it was a stunning sight! I wonder if any American (or Japanese for that matter) on December 8, 1941, would have believed that our two countries would one day, in the not too distant future, be the strongest of allies? Think of it this way: Do you think in 60 years ANY middle eastern country will be one of our strongest allies? If you are an optimist, please share.
4. At the far end of the USS Arizona Memorial is a wall with the names of all 1,177 men who died and are forever entombed in the USS Arizona. It's a moving sight. They were so young and full of life and hope. Off to the side is a list of Arizona survivors who, upon passing, requested that their ashes be interred inside the barbette of gun turret four.
5. The night before the attack, on December 6, there was a competition between the bands of the different ships and armed forces branches stationed on Oahu. The USS Arizona band won the competition and was scheduled to compete in the next part of the competition on December 20. All 21 members of the USS Arizona band died on December 7. The trophy was posthumously awarded to the Arizona band by members of the other bands. The trophy sits in a case at the museum.
Enjoy today and take time to think of the men who died that warm, sunny morning on an island in paradise.
Monday, July 23, 2007
A Talking Snowman, 2 Rednecks and a Woman in the John
The fodder for my visceral and sarcastic commentary runs rampant this evening. But I'm trying to turn over a new leaf - be a better, less bitter and negative person - so I won't be commenting on the CNN/YouTube Democrat presidential debate. YouTube?! Pandering to the high school, college and communist set I see. Consider this description of the event from a major internet news site: "A talking snowman, two rednecks and a woman speaking from her bathroom were among the odd, Internet-age twists to the oldest forum in politics — a debate."
Oh, and this...can't...stop...laughing: During the debate, Clinton refused to call herself a liberal. "I prefer the word progressive, which has a real American meaning ...," she said. Huh? I'll tell you what has a real American meaning: Kiss My Grits. Flo was so much more entertaining that Alice or Vera. She had moxie.
Moving on, I read this great little ditty in The Politico this morning. I sent it to a few people, but am pasting it in on M&O for my legions of readers to enjoy.
Can the butter cow save Obama?
By: Roger Simon July 18, 2007 07:21 PM EST
The Politico
I know what you are asking: Is the Barack Obama campaign really over? Answer: Maybe.
He made a cataclysmic mistake this week, a rookie mistake, a mistake that will test his mettle as a candidate. In a story published Wednesday in USA Today, reporter Jill Lawrence revealed that Obama recently urged a small-town crowd to grow their own fuel "right here in Illinois." He was in Iowa. But that was not the mistake. Presidential candidates often do not know where they are. This is why they have drivers.
The real mistake came in a later exchange with Lawrence, in which Obama had a chance to get his bearings and recover. Instead, he blew it. Here is how the exchange went: Lawrence: "Is Iowa like Southern Illinois?" Obama: "That's exactly right." I know what you are asking: Isn't Iowa exactly like Southern Illinois? No. And a presidential candidate should never, ever say one part of the country is "exactly" like another part of the country. It invites resentment from both places.
People in Golconda and Metropolis and Mounds are probably saying right now, "Does Obama really think we are exactly like a bunch of Iowans?" And people in Clarinda and Decorah and Algona are probably saying, "Does Obama really think we are exactly like a bunch of Little Egyptians?" (Little Egypt is what Southern Illinois is called by people who know the difference between Southern Illinois and Iowa.)
I know what you are asking: What should Obama have said? Here is how the exchange should have gone: Lawrence: "Is Iowa like Southern Illinois?" Obama: "Ha, ha, Jill, very funny. As you know, Jill, each place in America is unique with uniquely wonderful people. Iowa is unique and wonderful, and Southern Illinois is unique and wonderful. They are two different places, but each is unique. And wonderful." Lawrence: "Have you been drinking ethanol?"
I know what you are asking: How can Obama recover? He can go to the Iowa State Fair and eat stuff. Lots of stuff. While the press has been going nuts over the Republican straw poll to be held in Ames, Iowa, on Aug. 11, the far more significant political event is the Iowa State Fair, to be held Aug. 9-19 in Des Moines. The straw poll will attract 50,000 people at most, and they will show up only if bribed by the candidates with free food, drink, entertainment and tattoos.
The state fair will attract around a million people, and nobody has to bribe them to attend. And while the Ames straw poll has been held only four times in the past 30 years, this will be the 153rd year of the state fair. At the state fair, candidates from both parties wander freely, talk to people, watch the hog calling, admire the needlepoint competition and, of course, view the Butter Cow.
I know what you are asking: What is the Butter Cow? The Butter Cow is a cow carved out of 550 pounds of butter and kept in a refrigerated, glass-enclosed room in the Agriculture Building on the state fair grounds. Long lines form to get in. In the past, there has also been a Butter Elvis and a Butter John Wayne. In 1999, I stood in line to see the Butter Last Supper, which, though featuring only eight of the 12 Apostles, was still pretty extraordinary. The Butter Cow remains the gold standard of dairy sculpture in America, however.
I know what you are asking: What is the significance of the Butter Cow? To me, the Butter Cow is a metaphor for politics itself. It is symbolic, yet concrete. It is glorious, yet down-to-earth. It is inspirational, yet … buttery. And what Barack Obama needs to do is go to the Iowa State Fair and say, "This is a unique and wonderful Butter Cow. And I am pleased to be here in Iowa, which is nothing like Southern Illinois. Though both places are unique. And wonderful." Then he should eat something.
I know what you are asking: What should he eat? Anything on a stick. When George Pataki, who was then the governor of New York, visited the Iowa State Fair last year, he said: "We have a great state fair in New York, but we don't have pork on a stick."
I know what you are asking: What else can I get on a stick in Iowa? I know a straight line when I hear it, but food on a stick is no laughing matter in Iowa. So at the Iowa State Fair, Sen. Obama will be able to sample such stick delicacies as corn dogs, Cajun chicken, caramel apples, chili dogs, cotton candy, turkey drumsticks, nutty bars, chocolate cheesecake, hot bologna, chocolate-covered bananas, taffy, deep-fried pickles, deep-fried Twinkies, deep-fried Snickers, meatballs, Ho Hos and fudge puppies.
I know what you are asking: Deep-fried Twinkies? What should they do, poach them? When Joe Lieberman went to the state fair, he avoided the many pork products because he is an Orthodox Jew, but he bought a fried Twinkie on a stick for $3 after his state director assured him it was kosher. "Delicious," Lieberman said after consuming it. If he also ate a deep-fried Snickers and a deep-fried pickle, history does not record it.
I know what you are asking: Is there anything in Iowa they won't deep fry? Not really. At the Iowa State Fair, if it doesn't move, they will deep fry it. So final state fair advice for Obama and the other presidential candidates: Keep walking!
Oh, and this...can't...stop...laughing: During the debate, Clinton refused to call herself a liberal. "I prefer the word progressive, which has a real American meaning ...," she said. Huh? I'll tell you what has a real American meaning: Kiss My Grits. Flo was so much more entertaining that Alice or Vera. She had moxie.
Moving on, I read this great little ditty in The Politico this morning. I sent it to a few people, but am pasting it in on M&O for my legions of readers to enjoy.
Can the butter cow save Obama?
By: Roger Simon July 18, 2007 07:21 PM EST
The Politico
I know what you are asking: Is the Barack Obama campaign really over? Answer: Maybe.
He made a cataclysmic mistake this week, a rookie mistake, a mistake that will test his mettle as a candidate. In a story published Wednesday in USA Today, reporter Jill Lawrence revealed that Obama recently urged a small-town crowd to grow their own fuel "right here in Illinois." He was in Iowa. But that was not the mistake. Presidential candidates often do not know where they are. This is why they have drivers.
The real mistake came in a later exchange with Lawrence, in which Obama had a chance to get his bearings and recover. Instead, he blew it. Here is how the exchange went: Lawrence: "Is Iowa like Southern Illinois?" Obama: "That's exactly right." I know what you are asking: Isn't Iowa exactly like Southern Illinois? No. And a presidential candidate should never, ever say one part of the country is "exactly" like another part of the country. It invites resentment from both places.
People in Golconda and Metropolis and Mounds are probably saying right now, "Does Obama really think we are exactly like a bunch of Iowans?" And people in Clarinda and Decorah and Algona are probably saying, "Does Obama really think we are exactly like a bunch of Little Egyptians?" (Little Egypt is what Southern Illinois is called by people who know the difference between Southern Illinois and Iowa.)
I know what you are asking: What should Obama have said? Here is how the exchange should have gone: Lawrence: "Is Iowa like Southern Illinois?" Obama: "Ha, ha, Jill, very funny. As you know, Jill, each place in America is unique with uniquely wonderful people. Iowa is unique and wonderful, and Southern Illinois is unique and wonderful. They are two different places, but each is unique. And wonderful." Lawrence: "Have you been drinking ethanol?"
I know what you are asking: How can Obama recover? He can go to the Iowa State Fair and eat stuff. Lots of stuff. While the press has been going nuts over the Republican straw poll to be held in Ames, Iowa, on Aug. 11, the far more significant political event is the Iowa State Fair, to be held Aug. 9-19 in Des Moines. The straw poll will attract 50,000 people at most, and they will show up only if bribed by the candidates with free food, drink, entertainment and tattoos.
The state fair will attract around a million people, and nobody has to bribe them to attend. And while the Ames straw poll has been held only four times in the past 30 years, this will be the 153rd year of the state fair. At the state fair, candidates from both parties wander freely, talk to people, watch the hog calling, admire the needlepoint competition and, of course, view the Butter Cow.
I know what you are asking: What is the Butter Cow? The Butter Cow is a cow carved out of 550 pounds of butter and kept in a refrigerated, glass-enclosed room in the Agriculture Building on the state fair grounds. Long lines form to get in. In the past, there has also been a Butter Elvis and a Butter John Wayne. In 1999, I stood in line to see the Butter Last Supper, which, though featuring only eight of the 12 Apostles, was still pretty extraordinary. The Butter Cow remains the gold standard of dairy sculpture in America, however.
I know what you are asking: What is the significance of the Butter Cow? To me, the Butter Cow is a metaphor for politics itself. It is symbolic, yet concrete. It is glorious, yet down-to-earth. It is inspirational, yet … buttery. And what Barack Obama needs to do is go to the Iowa State Fair and say, "This is a unique and wonderful Butter Cow. And I am pleased to be here in Iowa, which is nothing like Southern Illinois. Though both places are unique. And wonderful." Then he should eat something.
I know what you are asking: What should he eat? Anything on a stick. When George Pataki, who was then the governor of New York, visited the Iowa State Fair last year, he said: "We have a great state fair in New York, but we don't have pork on a stick."
I know what you are asking: What else can I get on a stick in Iowa? I know a straight line when I hear it, but food on a stick is no laughing matter in Iowa. So at the Iowa State Fair, Sen. Obama will be able to sample such stick delicacies as corn dogs, Cajun chicken, caramel apples, chili dogs, cotton candy, turkey drumsticks, nutty bars, chocolate cheesecake, hot bologna, chocolate-covered bananas, taffy, deep-fried pickles, deep-fried Twinkies, deep-fried Snickers, meatballs, Ho Hos and fudge puppies.
I know what you are asking: Deep-fried Twinkies? What should they do, poach them? When Joe Lieberman went to the state fair, he avoided the many pork products because he is an Orthodox Jew, but he bought a fried Twinkie on a stick for $3 after his state director assured him it was kosher. "Delicious," Lieberman said after consuming it. If he also ate a deep-fried Snickers and a deep-fried pickle, history does not record it.
I know what you are asking: Is there anything in Iowa they won't deep fry? Not really. At the Iowa State Fair, if it doesn't move, they will deep fry it. So final state fair advice for Obama and the other presidential candidates: Keep walking!
Friday, July 20, 2007
A Hawaiian Apology
Scenic Point Near The Blowhole
Sunrise in HawaiiJuly 9, 2007
Work, work, work. Ultimate Frisbee. Vacation! Laziness. These are my excuses for being the worst pseudo blogger in the blogosphere. To begin to make up for it, I will mull my vacation to Hawaii. Form of a list!
1. When you're in Hawaii (I was on the island of Oahu), it's easy to forget you're still in the United States. It's tropical, the streets and highways are named for island kings and queens, and vowels dominate the language. That is until you see Ron Paul For President '08 signs. Everywhere. Random. If you know who Ron Paul is, drink one mai tai and proceed to the next sentence. If you know where Ron Paul is from, I won't mess with you.
2. To correctly pronounce Hawaiian words, you need to pronounce every vowel. By the end of my trip I was getting pretty good. Hey, if I can pick up Hawaiian in just 6 or 7 days, think how quickly I could slide back into French. I mean, I took 4 1/2 years of French back in the day. So I'm in the car with my friend Ashley and I see a sign on a store. I proudly pronounce the name of the store in my best Hawaiian, turning a one syllable word into a multiple syllabic song. Ashely says, "Yah, that's pronounced Frame Shop."
3. When palm trees blow in the wind, it sounds like rain. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why when I heard it raining in the middle of the night, it was so dry in the morning.
4. Hawaii has malls just like we do. But when you look up, you see sky.
5. I climbed all the way to the top of Diamond Head and all I got were sunburned calves.
6. Fitzarita: One bottle Corona. One can 7-Up. One can frozen LimeAid. Half LimeAid can's worth of tequilla. Stir. Pour over ice. Consume.
7. Boogie boarding. The sand! The sand! It ended up...everywhere.
8. We went into a surf shop on the North Shore. As Ashley perused some snorkeling items, I wandered around looking at the boards, swimsuits, flip flops, etc. Then I saw a glass case. In the glass case were the most beautiful blown glass objects - they looked like little pipes or mini horns. "Huh," I thought, "I wonder what the surfers use those for. They're pretty delicate, but maybe they attach them to the boards like we attached friendship beads to our shoes when I was in the fifth grade." Then Ashley finished her purchase and we left. I didn't think about it again until a recent conversation with someone from Florida. Bongs. They were bongs.
9. I developed an itchy, red rash on my feet. Stopped at a drugstore for Benadryl. I woke up one morning with a terrible toothache. Spent two hours at Ashley's dentist. After $187, he couldn't find anything wrong. It eventually went away. But geez, she has a gorgeous dentist. I might get a toothache next time I visit so I can see Dr. Hannah again. I fried the front of my legs my last morning on the beach. I flew out that evening and everyone stared at me in the terminal. My lobster legs were the source of great pain and sympathetic looks.
10. My last morning on the beach at Bellows Air Force Station the lifeguard cleared the entire shoreline of swimmers because he saw a hammerhead shark. How the hell did he see a shark from his David Hasselhoff-like post I will never know, but he jumped on his four wheeler and drove up and down with a megaphone yelling, "Out of the water now! Shark sighting!" Ashley emailed me today that a 36 year old man was attacked by a shark on that same beach! Crazy.
11. I saw a girl with an Iowa State shirt. I was disgusted.
12. I saw a kid with a University of Iowa shirt at Pearl Harbor. I was enchanted.
Other things I loved: Shave Ice, plate meals of shrimp and rice, fresh fish tacos, Shark Bite!, donning David's flight suit and Shaka helmet and quoting Top Gun, turtles bobbing up and down at dawn, Pearl Harbor, and spending time with a longtime and dear friend. I hope this helps make up for my laziness. No Randy, it wasn't you!Mahalo. Aloha.
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